Ten rules I’ve learned from being an “Ubernerd” (word specifically chosen here to be a jerk to someone).
1.) If you’re going to be filming supernatural events then it’s safest to be the one behind the camera (unless if you’re hunting trolls and then all bets are off). But, of course, that’s not even that safe since you will have to “disappear” so that you’re footage can be found by greedy producers looking to cash in. So, perhaps, it’s best not to be filming supernatural events with a hand-held camera. Plus, as a movie-goer that would make me really happy if everyone stopped doing this….
2.) If you’re going to become fiercely attached to your favorite Doctor Who actor then be prepared to have long running arguments with people. (And yes it’s David Tennant…Always and forever).
3.) A fast and easy way to get people to back away from you in crowded spaces is to sing the song Gollum sings about fish in a barely audible murmur.
4.) If someone states that Harry Potter isn’t “literary” enough for their “tastes” then it’s probably okay to think less of them.
5.) Asking yourself: What Would Buffy Do? is a perfectly reasonable way to think your way out of a situation.
6.) “Frak” totally works as a swearword and it’s okay to want a t-shirt that says “Frak Earth!” (Best piece of television background graffiti ever).
7.) That if you bought Mulder and Scully figures when you were ten, it is now okay to pretend to be displaying them in a self-mocking manner….Even if you still trust no one.
8.) It’s okay to quote Jim Henson’s The Storyteller in a paper on fairy tales… And doing so will make you absurdly happy.
9.) Pints are awesome. Especially if you can make jokes about them that have weirdly abstract tie-ins to Lord of the Rings.
10.) It’s turn out if you write an entire collection of horror stories about the campus you go to school at, throw in weird fairy tale references, and mention coffee in every single one as an ongoing joke…You may actually be rewarded for doing so.
11.) (Bonus hidden lesson) Being a nerd works out in the end for you.