Maybe writing a blog post at 11 isn’t the best idea (or is nighttime the only time that blogs actually get written? And why did I immediately think of Jim Guthrie’s song “Nighttime/Anytime (It’s alright”). I’ve been doing some thinking lately about the course that lives take. I think it has to do with a feature on facebook actually (as horrifying as that is to admit): it’s the people you may know button which often brings up faces of kids I knew growing up and who I am now seeing in FB pictures for the first time in around a decade. There’s something about this which makes me think I’m seeing time condensed as if the decade has happened instantly and that the people in the photos never got to live the life in between that space of time. Maybe, I’m just in a depressing mood. I feel like I’m in a depressing mood or at least a deeply contemplative one which, let’s face it, is a fancy way of saying that you’re being depressing.
And unfortunately the more I think about the past decade, the more I think about the upcoming decade. I wonder a lot about where I’ll be, not in a literal sense
(because it better be my cave in Canada), but in the sense of how much I’ll have accomplished on my grand list of life things to do. I hope that next year I’ll be in grad school and that will last for two to three years. I hope that I’ll still have the people in my life who matter to me, I hope I’ll still be mad awesome with my cooking/baking skills.
There’s a point I think where I wonder if I’ve missed out on something by how focused I am with writing. Maybe, that’s the only way to write though. Maybe the best writing is found in the broken hearts, the lost hours, and the endless repetition of words to paper. Words to paper.
Maybe that’s why I’m so intrigued by the Facebook People you May Know…It’s like I’m seeing some other lives played out. There’s the same amount of years to their lives as to mine but there’s a huge bridge between what our lives look like. Sometimes I wonder, if I’ll be looking at Facebook in ten years and see the face
of someone I knew or still know in a Facebook chat once in awhile or the obligatory birthday text way, and think “Hey, I almost knew you well.”
Or maybe I’m just in a depressing mood. Maybe, in ten years, I’ll feel like I’ve found everything I ever needed. In my cave in Canada.